Being able to attend madrasa during the prime years of my life is one of the greatest blessings of Allah ta'ala upon me. It is one of those things that I find too overwhelming to think about...Why me? Why was I chosen when there are so many people out there who would be a much greater embodiment of what a student of knowledge should be? Deep down inside, I do know the answer. I know that if I didn't attend madrasa and experience what I have experienced, I would have been completely lost. I needed to be part of a spiritually intense environment in order for my iman to barely survive in this day and age.
After leaving madrasa, the world and everything in it has become so clear. Either something holds meaning, or it doesn't. The only times I find meaningful in my life is when I teach 'ilm, reflect on 'ilm, or attend gatherings of 'ilm. Everything else is meaningless, and I have to force myself to find meaning in other things. This is a great price to pay, but it is worth it. My heart only finds peace in places and around people who remind it of its purpose, and these places and people are very rare. When I do find them, the restlessness in my heart subsides, and I feel as if I've finally come home. There's no place like home...because home is where the heart is most alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment